Who wears the BAND OF GOLD?

The PIMP

Who wears the BAND OF GOLD?

It would appear that ANY AND ALL may wear it now. Why does your PIMP now see BAGGERS from BEYOND INSANE GATE wearing mine AURUM NUGGET?

Simply: why doth the SCHOLARS OF THE NIGHT, who are not DECATS, wear a RING OF BRASS which may be mistaken for mine cherished BAND OF GOLD?

They are not DECATS. They are NOT, in any fashion, DECATS, though they wear a BAND which may be mistaken as such.

Your PIMP understands; WEALTH is truly limiting for mine LAND OF DICEL. How else may it continue to cultivate MOLD FARMS, pay underqualified SLUMIDISTRATION, and stuff the ISLES with BONKS and leaving mine UPPER CASTES as REFUGEES?

But if mine AURUM NUGGET is to mean anything, why permit the continuance of this STOLEN VALOR? Why can these BAGGERS claim without honor that they “WEAR THE RING?” They wear lies, and nothing more, should they not claim such a thing.

The PIMP does not propose, however, that the HALLS OF DONB do away with the SCHOLARS OF THE NIGHT. No; the PIMP’s request is far simpler. Simply alter the BAND OF GOLD OF THE NIGHT to have inlaid in its surface a gemstone, such that the difference between the BAND OF DECATS and the BAND OF THE NIGHT SCHOLARS is quite clear.

But ye in DONB would never do this, would ye?

No. You would not.

The PIMP knows your game; you know that the AURUM NUGGET entices many BAGGERS from afar who would covet such an honorable symbol. Yet in your LOOFISHNESS, you have diluted the very symbol you wish to mimic, and you bring disrepute to mine CHECKERED LADY.

Mine SLUMNI especially, this is a call to thee, for it seems you have allowed this delusion to continue with little more than a grumble.

Call upon those in the HALLS OF DONB to enact this plan. Lay upon their LINES OF COMMUNICATION very heavy, for with your effort, perhaps this DELUSION may cease. Do not allow this continue, or you may further anger the PIMP.

I am now, and forevermore, thine NEW CORP PIMPERNEL… A PIMPERNEL who wears a REAL and TRUE BAND OF GOLD.

2 thoughts on “Who wears the BAND OF GOLD?

  1. I have a question that I cannot find the answer to… if a Citadel graduate brings discredit on the college (say, for example, they are convicted of a heinous crime) can The Citadel repossess their ring?

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s