Knobs are Bracing for Florence

No, the title is not a typo. Knobs are bracing for the upcoming Category 4 hurricane in a desperate hope to appease it. It is unsure as of now how many knobs have fallen victim to its catastrophic leadership power, however, it is estimated to be in the high hundreds. However, the big question is: is this hazing?

Currently, Jenkins Hall has called for an emergency meeting on this issue. They have been meeting since 1600 EST today (12 September 2018) and the discussion still seems to be lively. Outside of the doors, there have been many statements said. The sentience of the CAS system desires to give the hurricane a BT180, however, an anonymous fifth-year senior in the meeting has already begun the initial steps needed to pull the Hurricane for an honour violation.

Here at The Brigadier, we know not of what is to become of the hurricane, but the knobs are still complaining of its power. It has been rumoured that Hurricane Florence has been forcing the knobs to do push-ups at an “inconsistent pace.” We all know 30 push-ups is a lot, especially for knobs, but for Hurricane Florence to stoop this low is unacceptable.

We will follow this story as it develops.





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