Return of the Knobby Plague

It’s that time of year again! The glorious time of year when all thoughts of color shrivel up into a world of grey. The time when the temperature drops to below 40 for a couple days only to rise to 60 degrees the next day. And best of all- The Return of the Knobby Plague (Coming soon to a theatre near you!).

Not only did the corps come back with fueled souls soon to be crushed by the despair that is El Cid, so did billions and trillions of bacteria from all around the world. We have Chinese, Thai, Californian, Virginian, French, and even Venezuelan bacteria all melting together to create one big frog stew of sickness. The moldy, cold, dreary, barracks are not helping either. So, here are some helpful tips to keep your body at least somewhat healthy (I say somewhat because… well.. between the food, lack of sleep, and mold… I’m not a miracle worker!).

Tip 1: Hydrate

Many of you knobs will remember the upperclassmen making you shriek “Beat the heat!” and galloping down liters of water everyday so that they do not have to be responsible for your sorry bums passing out. I am sure that there are some ounces of intelligence left underneath those ugly shaved heads and I pray that y’all drink at least half your body weight in ounces everyday. Drinking water helps your white blood cells (the cool knight in shining armor cells that fight the bad stuff) keep up the battle to keep your body from going rogue.

Tip 2: Cover Your Mouth

Do not skip this last part! Every time you sneeze, cough, or release some kind of bodily fluid from your facial area cover you mouth with YOUR ELBOW. Please for the love of all that is honorable do not release germs onto your hands. It is gross, unsanitary, and if you thought girls did not like you before, they sure do not now. It is best to use a napkin or tissue, but if nothing is around, the crevice of your arm will shield most of the ugly invaders from entering others.

Tip 3: Vitamins

As you probably have already figured out by now, you are malnourished. As in, you are not getting enough nutrients from your daily meals. It could be from not getting enough calories to not eating enough vegetables and fruits, but whatever your pitiful case is, consider taking vitamins. My first time giving blood at The Citadel I was quickly turned away and told to eat some meat because my iron levels was at an 8g/dL (which would explain the constant tiredness and headaches). So, word of advice, if you are not getting enough of something, take some supplements. Word of advice, if you are going to take iron tablets, take vitamin C before the iron pill. Otherwise, the iron will really mess up your bowels. Also, if you are feeling drowsy throughout the day, forget the energy drink. Try some B12 or some green tea (Matcha is made from crushed whole tea leaves which makes the caffeine content higher than that of bagged tea. And to all of you coffee drinkers, Matcha caffeine levels can actually equal half the level of a black cup of coffee.) Stay classy, my friends.

Tip 4: Sleep

Now, before you groan, pause for a moment. I understand that sleep is basically slim pickings for most classes. Specifically knobs and rank holders in charge of knobs. It sucks both ways. However, if you are having difficulty sleeping, your body is not building up the energy to help fight off sickness (remember those white blood cells?). If your immune system is too tired to fight off illnesses, your body is gonna lose to the illness faster than the French did to Russia back in 1812. If you are restless while or trying to get to sleep, try taking a melatonin pill an hour before bed. It helps keep you in a deep sleep for the limited hours you have rather than sleeping lightly for more time than you have to spend.

Tip 5: Wash your hands

For Col Sberna’s love of CAS, please wash your hands after you use the bathroom, before and after you eat, when you sneeze, after you go to the gym, etc. Use your common sense!

Alright y’all. We are currently in what? A frog stew of dirty germs and bacteria from all around the world including but not limited to? Thailand, China, and even California. Stay healthy and don’t wait till the last minute to go to the infirmary. Joke all y’all want about ‘infirmary rangers’ but when it boils down to it, do you want to risk your scholarship money on developing and growing a virus in you so bad that you need medical leave? Stay smart…well…as smart as you can be paying close to $50,000 a year to get yelled at.

-Dr. Pomolo

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